The Onion Understands

The Onion is known for being a joke news source, but it recently had a feature that rang true. So true, in fact, that it makes me want to cry. Not all Asians are Chinese.

That Chinese Girl in the Office: 'I'm Not Chinese'

So, if she's not Chinese, what is she? Time to: Guess that Asian face.

Time to Play: Guess My Asian Face!

When I first got to Berkeley, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be a math or an engineering major. I mean, I was really good at the flute too, but I knew I couldn’t major in music ‘cause my mother would have killed me (Seriously, you should see how she wields her chopsticks). I am normally pretty shy and demure, but in the end I went against traditional family expectations by triple majoring in physics, chemical engineering, and Latin poetry. (Luckily, my mom had forced me to study Latin since I was 5 – but only to ace the MCATs and become a doctor).

Anyways, it was in my organic chemistry class that I noticed something, well, besides how to construct alkylated centers, duh. Boys were always asking me which part of China my family was from. Girls would see manga peeking out of my backpack and ask me if I was Japanese. After awhile it really started to piss me off! So one day, after grabbing some bubble tea from my favorite café, I was walking through a parking lot back to my Honda – and this guy asked me if he could guess my ethnicity! And I was like WTF, and before I knew it I was yelling in this guy’s face – “Guess it! Guess it, you asshole! Guess my Asian face RIGHT NOW!” (I know this goes against my “I am normally pretty shy and demure” comment, but I had had enough). He got kind of scared and ran off.

And that is when I decided I needed to take action. Now I am very busy, some might say an overachiever – I mean, I sit on the party planning committee of my Asian sorority; I lead the Berkeley chapter of a nationwide J-Pop fan club; I hang out with my boyfriend, Chad, all the time; and I have an awesome collection of Disney DVDs that I am always working on expanding. But I knew I needed to start a blog. To help raise awareness. To help my Asian brothers and sisters. To help people – especially white people – truly understand the varieties of the Asian face, and the history of our ethnic backgrounds. So, Asian friends, I encourage you to post pictures of your Asian face to this site – to open up an informative dialogue that will help white people the world over to STOP GUESSING OUR ASIAN FACES wrong!